Grey Area in Life Philosophy

I’ve been living for almost twenty years and still can’t understand the meaning of life.

Just clueless.

Should we strive, to challenge ourselves to do our best in everything, and to utilize every bit of talent or wisdom God has given us to become someone successful in life?

OR

Should we just stay cheerful and live our life the way we like? As people always quote, “Life is short. Live it the way you want it to be.”

For some people, the two statements can be merged into one good sentence, and be practiced in their life as well. For example, a musician can live a happy and meaningful life and be successful in his career. Minorities can achieved this balance.

In comparison, a doctor, who strives hard to study all the human anatomy and stuffs his brain with unlimited increasing knowledge, can’t be cheerful always. Disappointment and depression are always by his side. He might miss many beautiful things in life, such as the precious moments with their love ones. Majorities fall into this group.

For most people, it resembles the case of the doctor. The two lifestyles are just like a pair of parallel lines. Never meet.

But we always hear that doctors are serving God, as they are appointed specifically by Him. Is this what life is all about? About serving Him the way He wants?

Life After STPM 5 :)

Yeehaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, I have regained my freedom.  

1)  I don't have to wake up at 5.45 am every morning, just to get to school by 6.20 am.
2)  I don't have to prepare teaching materials until 12 midnight, which is way much more boring than doing homework.  :P
3)  I don't have to read any unreadable handwriting anymore, which resets my vision and brain to their original NORMAL settings. 
4)  I don't have shout my lungs out.
5)  I don't have to write record books and teaching plannings.


And, I have received my salary!! A cheque....My first pay!!! It feels good.  :)

Dentistry or Medicine?

I've applied for IPTA recently, putting Dentistry as my first choice and Medicine as my second choice.  However, I heard from an SUPP counsellor, saying that I have a higher chance of getting Medicine because there are more seats offered for Medicine course.  

The best ending I could have is to get a Dentistry offer letter from any local universities.  However, if it turns out as what the counsellor has predicted, I won't be upset, but I won't be too happy either.  Thinking of the future of a doctor alone is driving me crazy.  The formula generated in my nightmare :

Being a doctor = Working for 36 hours (on-call) = No hibernation for a bear = Self-torture = No life

So, if an IPTA offer letter for Medicine course is mailed to me, should I :

(A) reject it and opt for Dentistry course in private universities?        OR

(B) accept it joyfully and be a good doctor in the future?

No wrong decisions shall be made now..... :

Life After STPM Part 4

13 more working days to go and I'll be freed from these gaggles of school children.  Phewww!!!

I really can't stand the noise made by my students.  I don't understand, why they have to shout when their friends are just beside them? Why they need to talk non-stop during the lesson? As far as I know, there's NO rules stating that students have to TALK NON-STOP throughout the lesson.  Why they yearn for  the teacher to shout at them all the time? Why they are so 'amused' by the cane, that they stop talking and stare at it once I approach them with a cane?  LOL!!! 

If your answer sounds like this : It's normal.  They are just immature children.

Well, as far as I know, I never behave like these bunch of kids when I were about the same age as them.  Even the naughtiest student in my class wouldn't behave like these wild brats (I'm talking about Year 2 and  students).  It's like I am going into another new world, in which the all these "Na'vi people" are born with hyperactivity nature.  They don't understand my language either, as if I am talking alien's language.   The simplest formula to illustrate this situation is :

1 alien VS 50 Na'vi people = death of the alien, success of the Na'vis.  No unobtanium.  =D

Conclusion, I would never throw myself into the education field, especially in teaching primary school children.  I'll be dead 20 years earlier due to heart attack/high blood pressure if I am in this field.  Being angry every day and scolding people every minute kill me slowly.  The end. 

Life After STPM Part 3

The STPM result was released on 25th February 2010.

It was Thursday and I was still teaching in school when the result is announced.  To get rid of the nervousness and anxiousness trapped in my soul, I sms-ed to check my result.  After 10 minutes, I received the result.  Well, I expect to get 4.0 CGPA but as usual, I am not a very lucky person.  Didn't get what I wished for.

My result is not a secret.  So here you are : 3A, 1A-. CGPA:3.92     *sigh

My Maths teacher was so shocked when I got an A- for my Maths.  I can't believe it too.  Not that I want to boast myself, but I have put a lot of effort in Maths, as well as other subjects.  And I usually get around 85 marks for my Maths.  How can that be an A-?  Oh well, what can I do?  Nothing.

Our school didn't have straight A's (not including A-) students for 3 years consecutively already.  My friends know some of the friends from other schools who manage to get 4.0 CGPA.  According to the usual academic performance of these group of people, they didn't have good track results as compared to us, but they got straight A's.  What we can deduce from this phenomenon is that, each centre (school) is marked by different group of teachers and therefore, different standards evolved in the marking system.  "Un-lucky-ness" has become part of my life.  Let me bare with it for another, say, 60 years? (If I can live up to 80 years)  LOL!!!

Okay, get over with the results.  Now I have to figure out a way to get myself into the Dentistry programme in local universities.  With 300 STPM students getting straight A's and unknown number of Matriculation students emerging this year (predicted to be more than 600 due to the lenient system), I really don't know what is the chance of me getting the course I want.  Having told that there are 200 dentistry vacancies and 1000 vacancies in the local universities, I think the chances are getting lower.  My dad asked me,"Why you always choose the critical course?"  What should I answer him?

If the government do not offer the course I want this time round, I plan to take overseas course or go into private university.  Let the local universities be filled with the 'M' people.  I'll serve another country who appreciate me.  Failing to secure a JPA scholarship with my 10A1 and 1A2 result has really pissed me off.  If I fail to secure a dentistry/medicine seat in local universities, then that's it.  I fade up, not with myself.  You know the answer.

So currently, I am glued to my laptop whenever I'm free, searching for overseas scholarships and applying for local universities courses.  Let's see how it goes.  Will update if possible. :D

Life After STPM Part 2

Teaching Primary 2 is killing my voice box.

There are 50 students in a class and you need to make sure everyone is doing their job (that is studying) and not making noise or bullying other students.

Well, just by describing here is not enough to make you understand how is the real situation in the class.

Imagine that one student reports to you that XXX is teasing XXX.  Once you have settled this case, another student pops out behind you, pulling your skirt and says,"Teacher, XXX is crying. XXX punches her at the stomach."  While you are settling these cases, the other students are making so much noise that it reaches 10000 decibels, or more. 

This continues on and on until the whole lesson is gone. *it rhymes

Education has changed nowadays.  Now, primary school teachers, especially those teaching lower standards classes, are like babysitters, who babysit 50 big babies, and yet only receive the salary from two families.  Fair?

Teaching Year 6 is a totally different experience.  They can be controlled but there are still moments for them to be crazy and noisy and annoying.  This is acceptable.  Just that you have to figure out billions of ways to tackle them and make them your friends.  That's it.

Teaching Year 4 is the easiest for me.  They still believe in lies.  Ooopsss... Okay, white lies.  Nah, I did not lie to them, but other teachers certainly did.  I shall not reveal their names.  LOL!!!  And Year 4 students are not as mature as Year 6 to debate with you.  So no worries.  Just go in the class and act fierce and TADARRR, they will be as tame as a cat as well.

These are my experience of teaching primary school students for just TWO days.  Still 21 days to go.  *Countdown-ing

Wish that these classes are still under my control for the next 21 working days.  =P

Life After STPM Part 1

Foohhhh.....I neglected my blog because I can't escape from my busy schedule although I should be having holidays now after STPM. *sigh

Well, a few days back, my dad was watching the news on TV, then he turned to me and said,"Hey, STPM result will be released on the 25th." I turned to him slowly like there's nothing surprising and asked,"You mean 25th March?"

He then looked at his watch and said,"Should be 25th February since they announce it so early."

DANG!!!

That is the moment I heart stopped beating.  Dying -------- Dead................................

Basically, I didn't sleep well that few days.  Once I think about my result, the chilling sensation run through my limbs and my heart beats like a bullet train.  Yeap, BULLET TRAIN.  Speed : 350 km per hour.

On Monday morning, my house phone rang.  It was my mum calling from her school.

Mum said, "Girl, do you want to teach at your previous primary school?"

I said, "HAR????!!!! When? What subject am I teaching? Students of which year am I teaching? Is it a good class or bad class?"

Mum paused for a while and replied me, "Starting from tomorrow onwards.  You are teaching English, Chinese, Moral and Music.  Your class will be Year 2, Year 4 and Year 6."

I shouted,"What?! Can you please let me think for a while and I'll tell you my decision later?"

Mum said,"Cannot.  You have to make your decision now, or else, they will find others to fill the vacancy. So okay har?"

I replied, "Har.....har.....har.....haiyo....."

Mum said, "I take that as a yes.  Okay, BYE!"

She hung up the phone.  And yet, I have not even spoken any words expressing my decision.

So now, I am officially a temporary teacher at SJK Chung Hua Batu 4 1/2.  My old school.

Yeay and Booo at the same time...

MUET result has been released yesterday.  I have achieved what I had targeted for.  Thank God.  Satisfied!  Happy!


However, when I receive my real MUET result slip in school today, I read through the details and guess what? The most important details in the slip cannot be seen clearly!! My big name and my IC number....That is really unlucky.  Bet that MPM has run out of ink huh?

I called MPM and they pass my call from the ground floor of the office to the top floor.  And I have to explain again and again since each and everyone of them don't know my problem.  At the end, they ask me to e-mail my problem to MPM.  I wonder how much time it takes them to settle my problem.  1 day? IMPOSSIBLE... 1 week? Still impossible... 1 year? Or I have to wait until the slip expires 5 years later? 100% POSSIBLE....LOL...

A TYPICAL DEPARTMENT IN MALAYSIA